Geir Werner Hagen

Uncle Tinder

Geir Werner Hagen

Soho 10.nov.05 

Tinder called me at work today and asked for a  favour. His new wife, Pratiba, found a stable of "Big and Bouncy" in one of the closets. She then went raving mad and threatened to divorce him. At least that´s what Tinder said. He asked me if I could tell Pratiba that it was my magazines, and that he already had told her that they were mine. What choice did that leave me with ? When I came round to collect "my" magazines, Pratiba interrogated me as if I were a war-criminal. I confirmed that all the "Big and Bouncy" belonged to med, while Tinder was lurking nervously about in the kitchen.  Pratiba said in a high pitch ;  " Aren´t you ashamed, Dev ?! "   I just looked at my shoes. She tusked my hair and said ; " You´re a good boy after all, Tinder. Now throw those magazines in the bin, ok ?" I did so and said goodbye. As I was walking down the street, I heard Tinder open the door and saw him looking longingly at the bin. Pratiba shouted to him, and he went back in.If he were a dog he would have had his tail between his legs. I don´t think he is very happy.

At work Luigi forgot his home-hairdresser-kit, so I still look like Princess Diana on testosteron, according to him. He has friday and saturday off, so he promised to give me a haircut on sunday instead.  When I came home Christine was cooking dinner. Angel hair spaghetti and some salad. Unfortunately ,Large Clive was already sitting at the table. He looked at me once, nodded a silent ´hello´, and then pretended that I was air. I took my plate and sat in front of the TV. I don´t mind watching re-runs off "Eastenders".  When Large Clive left, me and Christine spent the the rest of the evenig watching one boring talk-show after another. Before I went to sleep, I called Tinder. He was very angry at me for throwing the "Big and Bouncy" magazines in  the bin. I told him he could just pick them up again, but he said ; " I don´t dare. Pratiba can be very scary sometimes."

 

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